Matthew Avny-Kneer
In Motion Staff
By now, everyone knows that fancy word for “chewiness of bread or pasta.” But is gluten really bad for everyone?
Perhaps you are one of those people who self-diagnosed that you have an issue digesting gluten? If so, let’s take a run through of your “issue” and see if we can get you to stop saying you have a “Gluten Allergy.”
Karen Ansel recently wrote a story in Women’s Health Magazine on this very subject and came to the conclusion that yes, it is possible that some have problems creating enough of the enzyme that breaks down gluten. But, she says, most do not have enough of an issue that they need to STOP eating it just because!
Forbes magazine’s Steven Ross Promery also wrote a story mentioning that for every one person in Australia that actually has a gluten intolerance, 20 are actually on a gluten-free diet. Considering the population in the U.S. is much higher than Australia. It’s a safe bet we have a lot more people needlessly following a gluten-free diet.
The first thing to look at is whether you came to that conclusion all on your own. Never consulted your doctor? Didn’t see a specialist about it? Smooth move!
Maybe the real problem is FODMAPs. That’s fructose sugars in the Diet Coke you drank with your sandwich. Diet soda is like cocaine, don’t drink it. Promery says that there are more people in the world that have self-diagnosed their issues with gluten intolerance than people who self-diagnose their children’s runny noses. But did you know gluten itself is not bad? Sometimes, it can effect everyone depending on the density of the product, but it isn’t BAD for you. It won’t cause an issue every time someone swallows a wheat product.
But you would never know that by looking at all the gluten-free products offered at grocery stores, everything from breads, cookies and cereal to Cheetos. Yes, you heard correctly. As if it is the gluten that will kill you and not the salt, sugars and cheese-product additives.
So, if you did come to the conclusion all on your own, did you safely reduce your amounts of wheat products? Marlisa Brown’s book “Gluten Free, Hassle Free” talks a lot about safely reducing wheat and gluten intake for health reasons beyond an actual intolerance. For example, cutting it out for weight-loss reasons, along with potatoes and deep fried products as well.
Now, that would be a legitimate reason to reduce wheat and bread consumption, not just because everyone else is doing it. Cutting back on carbohydrates to drop the planet’s gravitational pull on your stomach is a fine reason to ask for “no bun” on your burger. Just don’t say you have a gluten allergy.
While some Americans have a legitimate problem digesting gluten proteins due to Celiac Disease, in reality that only affects — are you ready for this — a mere one percent of the population in the United States, or roughly 3.5 million. Sylvia Bower, who wrote “Celiac Disease: Living with a Gluten Intolerance,” says people with Celiac Disease can die or nearly die from it, even before they know they have it.
While that is a legitimate concern for those properly diagnosed, remember they found bread in tombs in Egypt. We have been eating wheat products for tens of thousands of years. Can you imagine a Club Sandwich without those three amazing layers of toast? What are biscuits and gravy without the biscuits? I guess you could always have a nice slice of cardboard with your jelly in the morning or dip some shoe sole in your soup, like Charlie Chaplin in the “Gold Rush.”
Nah! Just eat the bread and stop claiming you can’t because of digestive issues. I’m calling you out.
Let’s end this on a mouthwatering thought. Exhibit one is fried chicken. It can’t be breaded without wheat product. Double down and enjoy that sub and enjoy that bread bowl soup.
Please — for the sake of the kitchen staff at the restaurant you frequently go to for a nice romantic meal — stop saying you have a gluten allergy. It kills creativity and productivity, along with the ticket times.
It isn’t the staff’s fault you self-diagnosed yourself with an issue that affects such a minute percentage of the population in the United States. Instead, how about enjoying your Caesar salad WITH croutons AND that LARGE piece of bread floating in the French onion soup.