Veronica Kimmel
In Motion Special
A little over 13 years ago, I received a phone call from my mom. She said she had something important to tell me and couldn’t do it over the phone.
I can’t stand being told that I need to be told something at a later time and I wasn’t busy, so I went over to visit her. She sat me down and tried to get the words out, but couldn’t.
She was practically drowning in her tears. But she eventually fought them back long enough to tell me the truth: she was a lesbian and she had found a woman that she had started a relationship with. Apparently she’d known that she was a lesbian for quite some time, but kept that part of herself hidden away, until she found someone she genuinely wanted to be with.
Mom had been on the outs with my father for some time, so nobody was wronged and honestly, I felt for years that this might be the case. So I gave her a hug and asked her why she was crying. Apparently she believed that I might not be accepting, that I would for some reason despise her just because she had the courage to reveal her true self.
“Well, what a crazy idea,” I thought, but then I realized that perhaps it wasn’t that crazy.
Perhaps she was rational to be so afraid. I’ve been a supporter of gay, lesbian and trans rights practically since I graduated and left my awful old self back in high school where it belonged. But I realized that I was never that vocal about my stance, and maybe she had misconstrued silence as a lack of support. So instead, I apologized to her, for not being more forthcoming with my beliefs.
Years later, the change in her life has been nothing short of phenomenal. While she used to seemingly be dragging her feet through life, she is now running at full speed, enjoying it to its fullest with her girlfriend. Whenever I visit her, it’s like visiting some alternate-universe version of my mom that’s had a completely fulfilling and happy life, though at times, I do still feel awful. Not just on my own behalf, but on society’s as well. The idea that she could have been like this all along — that she had to wait 40-plus years to reach the point where she felt that she could finally pursue the life she wants — depresses me.
Later, the decision came down from the U.S. Supreme Court, and you couldn’t escape the news pouring from every outlet, that The Constitution guarantees a right to same-sex marriage. I was so taken aback, in the best way, to see the hugely positive reception it received throughout social media.
That night, different pictures on Twitter showed the White House, the Cinderella Castle at Walt Disney World and even Niagara Falls lit up with rainbow colors to show support for the decision. When I spoke to my mother that day, she was again in tears, but this time for a different reason.
What I’m speaking about here isn’t just gay rights. It’s wider than that. It’s about acceptance.
If you have someone close to you, someone you love, someone you care about, let them know it’s unconditional. Now, more than ever, let them know you support them 100 percent. And if you don’t, kindly remove yourself from their life. But don’t stifle them.