Nina Ruiz
In Motion Staff Writer
Abuse can happen at any time in a person’s life and it is too often that signs of abuse—physical, verbal, sexual, or any other kind—go unnoticed or are even disregarded in the early stages of a relationship.
In regards to Valentine’s Day last month, Daytona State College organized an Abuse Awareness event with organizations such as the Family Life Center and the Domestic Abuse Council, Inc., as well as DSC’s Campus Safety and the Department of Justice.
“Society sees candy, cards, flowers as expressions used to show love. In an abusive relationship, it can be confusing that what is seen by society as an act of love, is difficult to discern as an unhealthy behavior used intentionally to control someone into staying in an abusive relationship,” according to Family Life Center’s Sexual Assault Services Coordinator Candi Wilkie.
Types of abuse are endless and should be addressed and watched out for in not only romantic relationships, but platonic and family relationships as well. To realize that abuse is occurring in a relationship sooner rather than later is imperative to a person’s well-being, so it is helpful to know some early signs of abuse.
Micky Beauregard, Education & Quality Assurance Specialist at the Domestic Abuse Council said some signs of potential abuse are, “Controlling attitudes and isolating the victim from their friends and families. An abuser or potential abuser may also begin to stalk their person of interest.”
Forms of stalking include, but are not limited to, unwanted attention, intrusive communications through phone calls and/or email, as well as social media or persistently sending the victim unwanted items such as gifts or flowers. Brenda Merritt, Coordinator III of DSC’s Department of Justice/Office of Violence Against Women grant, explained that, “A lot of people don’t realize they’re being stalked, mostly because they don’t know what to look for.”
More specifically, sexual abuse can and does happen to people of all ages. The Family Life Center reports that the number one perpetrator of sexual abuse against children is a family member, whereas the first perpetrator for adults is an acquaintance. Just like any other situation, every person reacts and deals with the trauma differently. Friends and family, however, may not always know how to help or comfort their abused loved ones.
Wilkie said, “Start by believing them.”
For people who feel as though they are in an abusive relationship, a way to safely escape from the situation is to report the experiences to law enforcement. But a victim is not required to do so to get help. Some other, and more discreet ways, are to include coming up with a code with a friend or family member to let them know it is safe to get picked up, or even turning on the outside light, as a way to tell neighbors to call the police.
If it is possible to reach a phone, call the Domestic Abuse Council’s local 24-Hour Crisis Helpline. The DAC has programs to help victims, such as support groups and victim/court advocate groups. The Family Life Center has a Sexual Assault Support Group, which meets the second Wednesday of every month, 6-8 p.m. For directions and instructions on how to sign up, call 386- 437-7747. The group also provides childcare.
When there are so many recent instances of abuse there is no such thing as being “too safe.” In such a pivotal time in society, where all kinds of resources and contact information are accessible through smartphones and computers, it is simple to take as many precautions as possible.
Safety apps such as Circle of 6, Kitestring, OnWatchOnCampus, and YWCA Safety Siren are available to download on smartphones, free of cost.